Leaving room for God

I have plans, my plans are to apply for about 3 jobs a day. Go out meet people and get connections and maybe land myself some where. But as always... my plans never worked out.

I feel a great guilt that surges deep inside of me. I left God outside...

I lost myself into this routine of waiting on the right things to do and even that, I can't always meet up with expectation. Sooner or later, my desperation grows and it drags me down. But God reminded me, not just today but in many occasions that I need Him.

I am afraid that I live this pursue of work that I forget the pursue of godliness. God did say to look to him, acknowledging his providence and his sovereignty and he will lead the way... But I am so afraid that I am blinded by my own agenda that I lose track of where I am.

My guilt stems from the fact that I have not really been going to God for my job search, only expecting and thinking that He knows about it. But all of the sudden I miss the longing of His presence in all the processes. Suddenly, God sounded so good. Suddenly, God soothes the anxiety. Suddenly, I realize how stupid I am. But such a hope is to die for, such a hope fills me with peace that covers all rationality, and reasoning.

Suddenly God becomes so real. Suddenly, the need of God becomes stronger. Have you ever felt like you have befriended the Maker of the Universe? The one that holds literally everything in the palm of His hands, your very livelihood, your future, you.

I cannot imagine life without God. I mean, people in this world have lived their lives not having to commune with Him or even having to acknowledge His existence. But nothing compares to the very fact that God communes with me like having a personal relationship with a real person. Not a dumb God but a God that actually communicates back and through everything He says, it sums to the fact that He loves you and me.

I forgotten that I am not a job seeker, but I am a Christian, who so happened to be looking for a job... I urge anyone out there who has not experience God to take a second chance with Him, life never seem so worth it when He is there...