Blood

People who know me well, knows that one of my biggest weakness is blood. From a young age, I had always had this phobia. The sight of seeing myself losing blood gets me weak. I still may be able to watch a little on TV but I won't be able to take it right in front of me.

With the kind of imagination that I have, it does not help either picturing the loss of blood in my head. I could not stand even going into a morgue, my last experience left me shivered with fear.

Trying to trace it back, I may just realized how it all began.

I never liked getting bruised and cut... who does? But I remembered once when I fell and bled quite a bit and my mom had attended to me, helped cleansed my wound. She then followed with a lesson about blood, which I could not recall its details but it covered the facts that we should not consume blood. Whether it is from an animal found in food, we should try to avoid eating it(now, I don't know about consuming blood as something the bible preaches against but I am sure my mom was trying to make some kind of a point to me). Because she said that blood gives life, it is precious. Then she went to gave me the analogy of Jesus shedding all his blood for the sins of the world. As a young kid, 6 billion people at one given time is already massive, but lives from the beginning of time sums up to something that was too vast to comprehend, even for me today. What more of the cohabitants of the future. I was imagining how much blood Jesus had to shed to cleanse sin and how much it hurt to drain life from his body.

With my feeble mind, the thought of blood-loss grew with significance as time went by. Until this very day, it is something that I am still unable to shake the fear away. There are times when I do feel embarrass about it, where people would often nudge me to man up to it. But often I come to a place of remembrance that I am always appreciative about, which is the shedding of blood for my sins.

It may seem like a weakness to the world, and it could very well be. But the fear has never shed better revelation of Jesus bleeding on the cross. He said that he came to take our sin and fears onto himself so that we would be free of it. It brought me to tears knowing that I exchanged my fears with Jesus, as he hung on that cross; bleeding; while taking upon himself my very fear of blood at the same time, turns to me and tells me that he loves me...