Hebrews 11:40

Life takes unexpected turns... we always hope for the best but even through the best, we may never always understand it.

I am being put into a position of neutrality. I am not at liberty to share everything here in a way that I wished but my heart is longing for something. Even as God satisfies, God at times work in ways where He holds back for a certain reason. Not by abandonment but by keeping silent.

Sometimes it is also in the uncertainty that we find certain of what we know, almost like a filtering process, separating whatever that does not go through and whatever does. Thinking you want something with much conviction and then find yourself rethinking again through certain revelation. It is not always a matter that differentiates right and wrong but what is best to happen. So through this filtering process; that takes time, I am finding myself surprised at the results of things. I find myself slowing down to what my heart and my direction is bringing me towards.

I am being pruned even as God has been speaking to me about this life that I am living in, this direction and this decision to follow Him in ministry. Ministry will never get easier, life complicate things and there will be times that is just unbearable...

But I was reminded about my struggles in ministry through many incidents in scripture about hardship. The end of Hebrews 11 spoke how certain believers did not experienced the relief and the promises that God has told. 2 Corinthians 12 spoke of Paul's suffering of the thorn in his flesh. Many more incidents and not forgetting when Jesus asked for this cup of suffering to pass Him by, but ultimately obediently submitting to the Father's will... Even Jesus cried out, with the display of his humanity, a portrait of suffering that caught the attention of the world.

"... God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect..."

This mysterious verse poke loudly to me this morning...