Grace so Resolute

I can be a very transparent man. My dad once commented on the fact that I reveal too much to people especially on my blog. That I seem to bring out some of the things that some people would other wise think to be private. So in my transparency, I reveal my good and my bad, my ups and my downs.

Recent years I began to find myself to be more and more at the place of understanding myself a little more. Seminary has brought out the real me spiritually and place me into the position where I needed to root out everything that hinders my path for His ministry. I must say that it seems harder than I thought it would, painful many at times, but importantly painful in the area of revealing my state of need and weakness.

It is always easier to spot consciously the things that we think we are good at, but having to see the brokenness inside is something more people struggle with. Thus, painting a wider picture of the grace of God that is still today an overwhelming act of love to me. There are moments when it hits me hard while listening to my life's story being told, not just as I remembered it but through the lens of mercy and forgiveness and grace.

But what I yet to learn is how I saw grace was sufficient to the point of redeeming me not just through time, but through my heart and my mind and my eyes. Even through unconscious bias-ness, I realized how I have been as a person that is solely forgiven for who I am and not let anything else come and reason me other wise. My fears of my past and even my future has been kept me bondage and not seeing the salvation that took place beyond my understanding. I subconsciously compared myself to people I minister to, people at my peers, people I look up to and have subconsciously compared to an unrealistic lie. So I may have condemned those who needed more grace and uplifted those who not necessarily in need of awareness but to idolize their efforts and achievements.

There are so much thoughts that is running through my mind, so much to ponder on, but what I see in the theme of the spectrum of my mind is that I am anticipated by and for His goodness, all has been made ready, a slate clean as new.

My heart is overwhelmed by the fact that God reaches out to me with little forms and actions which reminds me about Gods gentle whisper approach that requires us to really quiet ourselves to really listen for Him. Grace is found in someone unexpected and God has humbled me once again, when I find myself losing grip of my wandering mind and my anxious heart.

Would it be too cliche to say that God is so good?...