How Bad Could it Be?

One of the classes that I am currently enrolled to was about poverty in the city, not excluding the wider range internationally. So the professor made an introduction about the issue being faced in the world today especially within the context of the city.

More than anything else, poverty is a subject that needs to be redefined as there is a suspicion that due to the clouded definition of the word may have one way or another affected how we react to poverty. Even in the notion that it inflicts certain moral perspectives or poverty when it comes to the urban context.

Poverty is an issue that has plague the world since the beginning of time, since sin entered the world. But often we come to see poverty to only be displayed by the lack of clothes, food and shelter. But we don't always know that poverty can be hidden in plain sight.

As I was listening to the lecture in class yesterday I could not help but to virtually place myself into the shoes of the poor and wonder what is it like to live as they live. I used to have a very narcissistic view that I know what is it like to live with little because I was taught by my dad to be frugal and simple... so even as I think about it unconsciously how I bad it could really be living under the poverty line. But the statistics shows how many at times we are so unaware of the situation that is really happening and the facts should anger us deep inside. I was convicted to a point where I started thinking about myself falling into poverty. I started thinking with the knowledge and skill that I have, will I fall into poverty?

By no means that I stand in confidence saying that I won't fall into poverty but I have enough knowledge and skill to at least find myself being able to survive through some of the hardest situations. I am trained, I have talents, I know where are the essential places to go for help to get me back on my feet, there are enough venues out there that are geared towards giving aid to the poor. But what did not get to me was the fact that poverty affects the emotional and mental aspect of a person, deriving them unable to be at the right mind to bring themselves to seek help. The lack of motivation and purpose renders them at a state that puts them into bondage. There may be other uncontrollable factor that births poverty but there are hope out there, but this hope is not possible until more of us who are fortunate help raise this hope to the awareness of those who are poor.

So in the last 10 minutes of the class, I found my mind to drift away into one of my day dream episodes. My mind started to drift into the decision if I were to make this crazy decision to live in poverty for 6 months, leave my apartment, take no money, only with the clothes on my back and drift away into the heart of the city to survive. I would tell no one except for 1 or 2 that will help me take care of bills and rent. I tell no simply because I do not want anyone to look for me, or at least try to find me. I thought about where I would find shelter, food, warmth in the cold and who are the people I will encounter, problems that I will face, hygiene matters, health matters, social matters, but more than anything is how am I going to live out my life as a believer even in doing this. I was in a trance of this thought for about 2 hours. I was subconsciously walking on the street, going on the subway, buying milk in the store and ended up at home when I suddenly realized that I did not really have much recollection about my trip home from class. My mind was partially submerged into the reality if I were to be going into poverty. I cannot help to imagine the state of losing self-esteem, shame, hatred, depression, desperation that could plague the mind of a homeless man wandering in the city struggling with survival.

I found myself feeling so depressed before the night ends. I found myself in a state of carelessness, where I find no concerns for how the way I look, portray myself, my attitude and so forth. But at the moment of being aware of it, I also realized that putting myself into that state of mind, does not compare any way close to the real thing. I thought to myself if I would ever find the courage to do it and I found it hard. I looked through ministries that deals with the poor and maybe doing a short-term internship or mission with them. But everything a everywhere I looked point me towards staying where I am at the moment. It is not about the hardship that is stopping me, but the good that I may bring and the use that God has called me to for the urgency if this moment and time.

How bad could it be?... How bad could it be to try going homeless for 6 months?... I cannot say out of experience but even in my inaccurate simulated thoughts, it is already difficult. I am not advocating for people to take courage to be poor and live the life where there is nothing, but I am however trying to advocate the awareness at least in myself the hardship that the poor goes through. There are so many levels  and type of poverty, all in which does not make the other easier or better. What can we do as little or much that we have to change the situation? There is always poverty at your doorstep, what are you going to do?