Summer Shift

I really hate looking at it this way but somehow every summer has something big that hits me. Something o major that it stretches my conscience in every way possible.

God has managed to be gracious to me through friends. But what grace that abounds will have to affect every aspect of our lives, such that our very being is at peace, our heart is at peace and our mind is at peace. Hearing about testimonies and countless of different perspectives about God and His pursuit of sinful men for His purpose has brought about such grace upon my conscience.

For my fragile heart has spurred countless episodes of panic attacks, depressions, and extreme plots of circumstances. And I used to despised my own self for this huge weakness of mine, over and over again. Yet, grace is found through those that has gone before me. Elijah was someone I found to be similar to me. A prophet that goes to the extreme and faces much to the point that he loses his mind, thus yelling out saying why was he alone in all these and where were others like him. But then there are days when he would have a clear and sharp conscience to speak forth such sound truths. Or like David, a man that lives hugely with the driving force of his heart. He fell into temptation that lured his emotions to sin. But in all that he has done his heart is transparent to God and to His people. His writings of Psalms hides no shame of His struggles and complains and brute honesty, yet in the end of it He recognizes the hand of God that still takes precedence in everything and find a clear conscience to his purpose in Him again.

I still find men like me today around me, and such comfort to find them as an encouragement, not to as to find that I am the only screw up but also the glimpse of God's unconditional surprises.

Yesterday was a good day... a good day is not without hardship but its one that is filled with the remembrance of the grace of God and what it does to us. The strength that filled me were subtly and gracefully soothing and all I see is a God that is sovereign in goodness and hope.