It has been a long while since I wrote... half of it was because I have been busy but the other half was because I was going through something that I did not want to write down...
After the end of the spring semester, I found myself being very reflective about the who I am. I was faced with some issues with ministry that may have one way or another be a testing of my calling. Not that I am doubting what I am doing but I do wonder at what capacity that I am doing all these. We are all called to the same things as Christians but as a minister I am just helping to equip and counsel on a greater capacity.
Somehow I found myself uninterested to connect with people, I realized how I am very selective of the people I spend time with and hide away. So I only spend time with those whom I confide in, and take time away form those that I really need to be ministering to.
I am now in a relationship with someone somewhat unexpected. Unexpected in the manner that I would not have seen it coming to be with someone like her, where we are somehow from different worlds. But surprisingly, there is a sense of comfort I find being with her and as much as I can dissect my impressions and thoughts about why I enjoy being with her, it is also that it is somehow in-explainable to the peace that I find with her.
Relationships has been the theme of events that has been going on around me for the past 2 months or so. People around me are dealing with such an issue at various levels and state. Knowing that relationships has been a highlight of my life as it is one of the biggest aspect that make a big deal of, a lot that has been going on around me has left me reflecting more than usual. But because of the limited luxury of time and energy, I am unable to handle everything that is going on around me but to find mine secured in God's peace.
There are so many urgent matters that demands my attention at this moment that I am trying to slowly sort them out. It is with great disappointment that not everyone will understand everything that I am going through, but with good reason I suppose. I have not been all too communicative for the past 2 months and with that I can understand that not everyone will lend me their sympathy to my predicament.
With this in mind, God certainly has been reminding me about a lot of things; things that I need to catch up on, things I need to trust Him with, things I need to let go off, things I need to have more faith in, things that I need to put more effort in, things I need to be more patient about, and of course people that I need to love and forgive.
Summer is here and this would be a the first summer without spending time with kids. It will be a recurring experience as what I used to experience in the past summers in Kansas but this time, in a whole different context.
No comments:
Post a Comment