How do you move on from a decision like that....
We all have very different perspectives on life and where my situation is such that people tend to look at it and think that I am not loving myself, and that I should decide what would protect myself first and not sacrificing my energy on something that is uncertain.
But there is no certainty apart from God, there may be small assurances to life but ultimately those assurance come from God. Even Sacrifice is seen in various ways and I do not necessarily follow how everyone perceives it.
The decision I made was a sacrifice as it was not before. For even this is the uncertainty painted all over the situation but it is only by the sovereignty of God that anything will work itself out.
How do I place such a trust in God now becomes harder as I am walking even more blindly now because I have laid down something that I knew what to do with my life but now I am sailing an open sea.
I clearly do not know many at times what on earth I am doing, but there is so much certainty of God that never leaves me and that somehow work itself to teach me what to do when the moment comes. But with this understanding to such a mysterious world that we live in God comes and lay down the condition for each of us in that whoever wants to be His disciple must deny himself, pick up his cross and follow Him.
I am reminded that I would not come to find myself being able to deny myself and pick up my cross until I have come to met Him face to face and see His glory. His glory is the grace that enable us to deny ourselves and pick up our cross.
I do not understand and I do not know how, but I long to see His glory so that I can find strength to deny myself of my desires, pickup the cross that I am to bear so that I can expect to see fruits from following Him.
I am denying myself through the decision that I am making and with it bearing the difficulties that comes with that decision.
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