In The Waiting

I conjure up stories in my head since I was a kid and my imagination sometimes spills over into reality and shapes my attitude, as well as my preference of style in things.

Many know of my alter ego persona of Batman and how that has shaped my personality, and the truth is that I found comfort and refuge in it that I never grew out of it. Even till today, there are traces of Batman lingering all over my life.

Although I do not necessarily come out as Batman but I did however recreated a character in my head that mimic him. In fact, I created a whole world that I found myself of worth in it. My character is one that portrays a lack of sentiment and emotions and I take confidence in a strength that is vaguely noticed by the world around me but to only a few. My character resolves to this persona due to past experiences that revolves around brokenness and rejection, to which now finds refuge in a state of merciless objection.

I have another world of my own and sometimes I drift away into it simply because I do not know how to deal with the real world at times. Like a defensive mechanism, it shows in my critical behavior and focus on the imperfections of life.

Seemingly, this is how I perceive God and his mercy and grace. As a fearful and rejected soul, I found such dramatic comfort and hope in the reality of God's remedy to my situation. To and extend, it is almost that God is challenging reality with my fantasy to which I used to find refuge in and I cannot help but to notice an unseen battle that keeps me on my feet to what life is.

I do know that I am not the only person that conjures up such fantasy, for there are many that finds refuge in it but not always letting God to fit in somehow. But there are those that does not bridge such a reality to fantasy that lacks understanding to such an existence, where people like me seem to dwell a lot in. My view of life is very much affected by this, as well as my attitude. My seemingly negative perception is a product of my imagination, one that has blurred the lines of fantasy and reality.