Tool For Change

All these years being a Christian and I never found myself being the way that I am in the past 3 to 4 years.

Starting with the reading of scriptures, I never found how deep and revealing the word of God can be until how I began to go to God with great expectations and He shows Himself so intimately with the words in scripture. I am beginning to fear that many people that are just like me who were struggling to understand the intimacy of God that cuts down to the bone. But when there is revelation of who He is, there is a life changing perspective that is so undeniable.

For the past 1 year, I have been weighed down by the fact that I do not pray like I should. So very often when I hear that we should pray more and yet I found myself unable to do it but only when I am in desperation. So for the past year I have been spending quite some time looking into prayer and understand what it meant to be desperate to pray.

There was a time when I would pray for many people but then there are days that I get tired and I would not get through my list of people that I pray for. I would find myself being tired and lost for words because I don't know how to pray for them and I end up praying for the very same predictable things that I pray for everyone. So I began to look into Psalms and see a pattern and identity with David as he pours his heart out to God in the most honest manner, whether in complain, in sadness, in sulking or in fear. But despite it all, David never forget to find trust in his most inner parts to know that God does not abandon him. So David has discovered the secret in pouring out his heart to God, and that is to taste God in His goodness in anyway possible, because he knows that when he has truly tasted the goodness of God, he will be pursuing God with everything he has. This is the very understanding that won David's reputation for a man after God's own heart.

Yesterday as I was reading scripture that led me into Luke 18 about the persistent widower. This is suddenly a powerful reminder and encouragement to keep praying. Even when there are days that I feel tired of praying because I do not see change or simply just tired to even bother, I remind myself that faithfulness will always see results and in a more timely manner than we can ever imagine.

I feel like an amateur in this aspect of prayer and for some reason God is pushing for this in my life right now. Not because it is necessary as a Christian or a minister per se but so much more in terms of God want to show me something. Leaving little to guessing that God is desiring to show His power and His glory, and I want to put everything I have into allowing God to show it to me and to the people around me. So it is rather timely for me to be leading prayer in church. It is also been rather interesting to find myself praying for people on the spot and experience peace and the moving of the Spirit.

Prayer changes things and I have never been so amused by this timeless truth lately. Join me...