Loneliness

Earlier this evening as I walked out of my room and passed the kitchen, I smelled something cooking in the kitchen by my roommates and immediately found myself drawing back to a memory many years back. Although vague but the idea of a moment when dinner was ready and everyone is called to come to the dinner table to eat and enjoy the simplest of meals. 

This got me thinking about forgetting when was the last time I had such an experience where there is a warmth of fellowship of family or close friends around the dining table. The last time I ever remembered such an experience was in Texas, when my aunt was still living there. 

I miss family. I miss the warmth of people that I love around me, where I can be at ease and be myself. Not that I am faking it while being around others, but there is a sense of true comfort that I have not felt in such a long time. 

I have been away from love ones for such a long time. Being in a land that values more privacy and individualism, it gets tough at times. So far not many people around me have come to understand the place I am in, it brings me to moments of disappointment. Expressing my loneliness has not been always received well because of those that I have come to express to are not necessarily people who truly understands loneliness well. So I end up drawing back in silence and wait on God and His faithfulness to come through.

New York City is known to be a city that never sleeps simply because there is always something going on at every hour of the day and much to it is to accommodate the need for a void in the lives of people even at wee hours in the morning. They say that there is so much to do that a person should not find it boring to live in New York City, but yet people still do express loneliness. But when the life of Wichita is one that sleeps at the point of 9pm, almost everything cease to operate and yet more people find fulfilling lives there compared to the city. And I certainly do feel the same way, because I had love ones around me in Wichita. Such is a novelty experience being here in New York.