I had a preliminary interview today and thought that it went well. It seems that I will be moving on to the next phase. This is getting me excited after talking to the interviewer and seeing how well it went as I am instructed to proceed.
After the interview, I had myself go through some reflective moments and think about the possibility of me moving on to this new venture, which may take me away from this city. I then thought about the things that has been happening lately, or at least for the past 1 year and it somehow made me sad. But my sadness does not stem from memories that I will cherish, rather, it is sadness from bitter experiences.
I have come to see the brokenness in this city that pushed my dependency on God. I would think that this is a good perspective to have as it will lend itself to see how people can depend on God more, but it really has not.
The biggest bitterness comes from believers. I have never been hurt so much by Christian than I ever felt in my previous experiences outside of New York. Sometimes it seems almost like believers here in the city are putting up a front than to truly living a Spirit-filled life. I do not deny the struggle with time and demands in this city but even when there are good times, I see people placing their trust in the world more than they do in God.
The city changes people. And as for those that grew up here, it is a scary lifestyle that can be so very deceptive. I am either standing out in my weirdness or so many believers in this city is being blinded by contentment in their pursuit of God; which is minimal and nominal.
Moments like these makes me want to get away from this city... and look forward to a new place.
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