Rotting Grace

Losing friendships are hard. Much like a break up, there is a sense of separation that serves to create gaps and habitual attachments.

I have lost more than half of my friendships here in New York in the recent past 6 months. I can argue that it was not my fault but friendship is not about faults at this point but rather a desire of reconciliation. But doors of reconciliation from the other side has been close towards me and there is nothing I can do to further mend anything.

Today I felt like I will be losing another friend. This is happening because this person is afraid of what I would think about the situation and avoids me altogether. This saddens me to the point that reminds me about the brokenness of community in the church. For this case, I know that I am avoided not because of faults, but rather because I will keep accountability and intrude for the sake of friendship and God. But people are so attached to fulfilling their self-interest and desires, that they are all willing to sacrifice the fellowship of God and avoid anything that resembles hardship for sticking with God.

I would love to blame the churches here in New York, I would love to pin point the lack of discipleship that is causing the absence of hope in a disciple-practicing fellowship, but no one listens... everyone is still busy taking care of themselves and their own self interests.

I may come across as overbearing, but I rather be overbearing with the truth, wounding as a friend, than to kiss as an enemy.