In The Waiting

I have opened a portal, in an unknowing manner and step into it and discovered the scares of life... at least that is what it feels like.

In recent days, new fears have erupted in my life. Fears that I never thought would surface, now begin to mater over me. I hate this thoroughly, and I despise the fact that I can be so fearful of so many things, and much to them are irrational. Phobias, as people would call it, and these phobias have taken control of many aspects of my daily life.

It is rather disappointing and discouraging from the things that surfaced, much to it are things of which many people do not fully understand. As much as these are all psychological, the awareness of the situation brings little comfort; but in fact, it heightens the fear many at times.

There is a point where the accumulation of the past disappointments come back to knock on my door, simply because I did not bring closure to them. And so just one perfect storm, with all issues aligned, was I struck down. I am on the floor crouching in a fetal position, fearing the world out there simply because I sense a lost of hope and joy through my circumstances.

Lord, refresh my heart again.