In The Waiting

The feeling of waking up and realizing that I am back feels unusual.

Still getting over the fact that I am here. This feels like the result of 2 years worth of waiting and anticipation, as well as moments of wanting to give up. Although I am not trying to over do all of this, but I can't help to feel this natural connection that is surrounding me.

But before I go any further in regards to my return, I need to acknowledge home. Malaysia will always be my origin and there is always a pride that comes from it. I am not denying the negativity that I have experienced in the past 2 years, but somehow it is a humbling experience to tell me where I came from.

There is no proper growth when there isn't much of knowing the foundation that came with it. Much like what I like to tell people is that I just went through my 40 days in the dessert. But that itself is not completely as what the dessert represents.

I am not sure about whether I have fully overcome everything that I needed to, or that I have learned all the lessons but I am humbled by this gracious opportunity to grow in it. With the people that  used to know, I need to realign my perspectives about who am I to them. But at the same time, reassured by God himself of the convictions that I have come to live by.

So as this chapter is new, so will much of my pursuit of God renewed, will my grace be renewed through Him. May forgiveness and grace be overflowing, not for people pleasing sake but for His sake and for all that He has done.