New York 3

Many times I want to cry and give up... but there is always something else that comes in the end to lift me up. I have never seen such stupidity in me and the learning that took place within these 3 months. I have asserted myself in my strengths and yet I find an intimidation because my flaws are lighting up brightly in my own eyes.

I say that I seek to be different but I found myself chasing after the common...

This may very well be the last New York update I'll be writing. I am not sure where I am going now, I still put my trust in God but yet the trusting is the most difficult part as we all know. I serve a God who is holy and righteous in all perfection, and I cannot find it clear to me what or where is He leading me towards.

I hear about stories where God speaks so crystal clear, and for that I am convinced it is the power of relationship... which really tells me that my relationship with Him needs a little bonding. Even to that point, something in my hearts draws my need for God and His ways. I know what I need to do on the surface level, I know if anything goes wrong, I still have to adhere to His ways. It is not about what He does for me anymore, it is about who He is and who He is is something I cannot deny, even if wretched events come across my life, because I have seen Him too much to ignore.

I am getting my first interview on Monday, I seek your prayers for me. I am excited and yet I am nervous because I am over thinking with so many possibilities and setting up so many variables with this equation of landing a job. I have until the 23rd of April to get a job before I jump into something I may regret.