New York is still a struggle one way or another. My future in this city is still very uncertain. I dread about how I am trying to save money, and not spend too much on things that I do not need.
I try to fit in the city, not necessarily through values but through culture and understanding, so to make my stay a little more easing. This is not a cheap city to live in and money needs to be managed well. Yet I do find that there are places that I spend on reasonably, especially food.
Before I go on any further, I just want to mention that I've been reading a book called 'Hole In Our Gospel'. The book was authored by World Vision's president Rick Stearn, whom advocates about meeting the needs of the poor around us and the world. I must say that I do have a little change of heart and awareness about the needs of people around the world, which many at times brought me to tears reading the book.
Continuing on. A few nights ago. I took an unexpected long nap in the evening and missed out on dinner. Close to about 10pm, I knew that many places would be closed. except for a few take out. Being all groggy from the nap, I decided to make a quick trip to the nearest Chinese take out along the shop where I live at. I had in mind what I wanted and I really decided to get fried dumplings, and indulged all eight pieces myself. I didn't care about anything except for demanding a meal to satisfy my grogginess.
But something happened. As I was deciding on which type of dumpling to choose from out of the 5 choices, a customer came in and made an unusual order. This was a mid aged Caucasian man, in t-shirt and shorts, sandals, holding a plastic bag, which I can't make out what was in it. He looked clean, well cut short hair, with his huge nerdy 80s glasses. He reminded me of someone that was dear to me actually. So with his well mannered voice, he ordered:
I try to fit in the city, not necessarily through values but through culture and understanding, so to make my stay a little more easing. This is not a cheap city to live in and money needs to be managed well. Yet I do find that there are places that I spend on reasonably, especially food.
Before I go on any further, I just want to mention that I've been reading a book called 'Hole In Our Gospel'. The book was authored by World Vision's president Rick Stearn, whom advocates about meeting the needs of the poor around us and the world. I must say that I do have a little change of heart and awareness about the needs of people around the world, which many at times brought me to tears reading the book.
Continuing on. A few nights ago. I took an unexpected long nap in the evening and missed out on dinner. Close to about 10pm, I knew that many places would be closed. except for a few take out. Being all groggy from the nap, I decided to make a quick trip to the nearest Chinese take out along the shop where I live at. I had in mind what I wanted and I really decided to get fried dumplings, and indulged all eight pieces myself. I didn't care about anything except for demanding a meal to satisfy my grogginess.
But something happened. As I was deciding on which type of dumpling to choose from out of the 5 choices, a customer came in and made an unusual order. This was a mid aged Caucasian man, in t-shirt and shorts, sandals, holding a plastic bag, which I can't make out what was in it. He looked clean, well cut short hair, with his huge nerdy 80s glasses. He reminded me of someone that was dear to me actually. So with his well mannered voice, he ordered:
"...one white rice please..."
The lady packed a pint of plain white rice and charged him a dollar for the rice, and he gently asked for a plastic fork with it.
It was my turn to take my order, I paid and waited at the limited few chairs in the take out. In front of me was this same man, sitting down on the table alone. Taking out his little box of white rice and with the fork, he started to eat the plain white rice by itself.
This drew my attention as I sneaked in a few stares at him. With humbling eyes and emotionless expression, he ate his rice like it was his fill of dinner for that night... and maybe it really is his dinner for that night. He behaved as to avoid any attention and trying to make it through the blend rice. My heart sunk. My heart sunk so bad that I lost appetite for my dinner. Minutes ago I reacted to my petty wants, demanding a sooth for my satisfaction and now I lost all conscience of my inclination.
I found myself at guilt. More to that, I found myself at burden and sympathy for that man. My heart broke a little, yet I had no idea what to do about it. Waiting for my food took about 8 to 10 minutes and I had to face this man savoring his meager meal. As people would come to say, it was the longest 8 to 10 minutes of my life.
Now, why am I so caught up with this man? It is not that I don't know about the existence of poverty. After reading the book and walking through beggar-filled streets in New York, somehow this man stood out to me and caught my attention. For all I know that he could be someone weirdly crazy about plain white rice, but there was something in his heart that I saw humility and meekness.
What's worst is that I walked out the take-out not knowing what to do. The packet of food I held in my hands never seemed so heavy before. I have not been able to see food that same since. I don't know if God is telling me something...
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