Apology

2 days back I was utterly plague with bitterness that comes from a selfish heart and then out of it I am left with unfavorable consequences of that bitterness. I was angry that is the biggest thing that stood out to me but my anger has left me in the dust.

So in remorse and guilt I lie down to sleep and so the same as I wake. My heart is burdened with the fact that I have sinned against someone. And I would do anything to make that right again, for my guilt was so great. 

Today I opened scripture and begged God to arrest me once again. I prayed for forgiveness from Him because what I am going through was really unbearable. My devotion took me to Psalms 103 and started with verse 6, where it says that 

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed

Instantly my heart goes weary because I knew that I was the oppressor...

But as I read on, I found the grace of God that surges me with forgiveness beyond what I expected and it spoke to every single of my situation that I broke down in tears. God in his timeliness came to me in the moment where I really needed Him and to what he has opened my eyes to. Because just as me being the oppressor, His forgiveness is beyond what I can describe but can be experienced. Read it for yourself, here are the following verses 7 to 18: 

He made known his ways to Moses,

    his deeds to the people of Israel:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

    slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

    nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

    or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

    so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,

    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

    he remembers that we are dust.

The life of mortals is like grass,

    they flourish like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

    and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting

    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,

    and his righteousness with their children’s children—

with those who keep his covenant

    and remember to obey his precepts.

The mercy and grace of God never cease to amaze me. Even as I bask in His forgiveness, I pray the same for the forgiveness to the one of my oppression.