What a wreck I would be, much more than I already am... if not for God.
The fight and journey with Him on this earth is one that is hard... and much more so as a minister. I recalled a statement that was made by my professor 6 months back, saying that those who ministers can be the loneliest people there is. Not because they do not have people around them but the journey that they take and the sacrifice that comes with it is one that is not widely shared by many. They are often crowded by people around them but only very little understands the life of it. This is something I found myself drawing more and more to identify with.
I am already a weak person, my flustering emotions are infamous to people who know me everywhere, from Malaysia, Kansas and now New York, as well as those that are around the globe that has tasted a handful of my sentiments. It is so easy to get me down and beaten with the littlest of actions and my mind and heart will do its destructive work all on its own.
Yet, why did God called me into this. Of course there have been times when I would ask myself to think hard about whether I heard God wrongly about this decision. And by rational thinking, I can see so many reasons why it could be out of a fearful and imprudent decision to go into ministry... yet out of what I doubt about myself in all that I can think of, the Gospel has never captured me the way it did as I took this step into serving Him.
A wreck I have been and may still be until the day I die, and God is still keeping me close to Him so that his glory may be shown, someway, somehow.
No comments:
Post a Comment