Finding Home

Today as I sit in the church office gazing out the door and every hustle that happens with the camp coming to a close for the day, I began to think to myself that I am finding a sense of meaningless.

I wondered if I am floating into the season of Ecclesiastes where I go into a state of melancholy because despite how I have put in every effort I have to endure through the past 6 weeks and with much reflection on every single task I had, somehow I found myself to be in a state of meaningless and loneliness.

I admit to my reserving personality that does not really attracts the fun crowd but yet I am not overly seeking that either. I do have people who are surrounding me, yet something inside is just not fulfilled.

I began to think back at my peers and those whom I find comfort in and they are no where to be found. Those of my peers are rare, and I have make it up with different people around me. But ultimately, everyone changes. So even as I think back at them and find myself back at their midst, it will not be the same. This is a bitter-sweet situation where as much as hard as it is with all that is happening, there is a sense that confirm God's divinity of His providence.

The satisfaction that comes from Him is still matchless in many ways, and moments like these where everything seems meaningless and depressing, I can look forward to home in heaven.