How Far This Has Gone?

Father,

Search in me the brokenness and sins that plague my life like a grip on my ankle and set me free...

My heart and my mind is in a constant battle in such that it is almost never at peace. My heart has ruled much of my life and it has brought ruins to me and my mind has suffered from it that it as become skeptical of my emotions and is guarded against any ounce of good that may come from my heart.

I see things that hurt and I constantly find myself getting into things that get my heart broken. I am tired and I want to be set free from this, I want out from this cycle. My heart has been bruised in ways that scars do not seem to go away and I need to find healing and comfort. I need to stop from placing myself with places and people that do not have the best interest for me.

I am reminding myself that I am nobody's savior, as I have always acted like it for years. I cannot change people, I cannot convince them, I cannot do anything that only God Himself can only do. I cannot change situations but only to surrender to God and allow Him to do what He wants.

I want to get away... I want out... I want out from these baggage that has been on my back for far too long. Even if my heart desires for people to draw close to God, I need to be ministered to myself and I need to draw close to those that will lift me up, I need to draw close to those who would give me comfort, I need to draw close to those that will make me smile, I need to draw close to those that would protect my heart, I need someone who actually cares for me...

Next to Jesus there is none that heals like Him, but I need to stop walking into trouble and start walking into where He can be found...