Narcissism

The term has somewhat changed a lot form its original definition, but it does carry very similar connotations.

We live in a world where we still cannot get enough of who we are and the desire to show ourselves away to the world is something of a disease almost. This is no exception to the church to which we preach love and care but ultimately find ourselves finding ways to let out our lives to be the center. We can come together and greet each other with how are you doing and take a short moment to listen but then it ultimately comes down to just finding out how can I incorporate my life into the conversation. Little has it where we listen to genuinely wanting to just know and put someone else to our full concern.

Sometimes this is found in people who talks and shares a lot about their day or week but does not reciprocate the concern to hear the other person out. Many at times, I have experienced people sharing so much about their weeks and all that has happened, listening and asking followup questions because I want to know how are they doing spiritually. The conversation usually ends with them just having their minds wandering away to what the following week would look like. After doing this for a few people I come to a place where no one genuinely wants to know how I am doing, because even after asking how I am, they are there ready to answer me with suggestions to my issues or bringing in their own personal experiences into the conversation and slowly take over the focus back to themselves again.

There are only a handful of people whom genuinely will come to the point of showing real interest not just about my life but rather how am I doing and what can they do for me or at least pray for me. Very few people show concern where my issues do matter to their heart. Maybe me being sensitive over this matter has caused a very unfavorable impression about wanting to share my heart to people as time passes by but I have felt burdened in many ways through the years of facing people's narcissism that breaks my heart.

As cliche as it is, we tend to live our lives going into things asking what is it for me and not asking what is it I can do for others. I am not saying that it is bad to seek something that can benefit us in whatever is it that we are doing but the point that I am making is that we have lost ourselves into ONLY doing things for ourselves but not seeing how can we contribute.

But I do come to realized that people are also like me... seeking some sort of listening ear, some sort of outlet for the bottled up mess that is being accumulated throughout the week or day and is seeking every possible platform to share something in their minds and hearts. So maybe that people are so focused on finding outlet, that they forget to be an outlet for others.

But more than anything else is that we will always think of ourselves if we hold on so tightly to our very self and neglect others around us. The call to have less of ourselves and more for God, which in many ways more for others, it translate our understanding of the urgency and importance of deny ourselves and follow Jesus.

A mirror is to make sure that we do not look out of place, beyond that run the risk of self-admiration that only feeds into wanting more for ourselves and forget about others around us.