Separation

Those of you who are familiar with Flushing NY, knows that there is an adult assisted living home called the Sanford House, where people who require some sort help in care but not restricted to being inside the home. Therefore, you can easily spot these people, of which you would be able to tell that they are somewhat mentally slow. I have come to recognize many of them that frequent the streets. They are pretty much harmless people, but they often would approach people to ask for some money to buy coffee or cigarettes.

After living here for more than 5 years, I have recognized an old white couple from the Sanford House that often walk the streets together asking for cigarettes, or at least money for cigarettes. They would be very bold in approaching people, and sometimes push the request a little just to convince people to give them something. All in all, they are relatively harmless.

But starting this year, I notice a change. Today, all I see is just the woman alone on the streets. I have not seen the husband (assuming they are a married couple) for a while. She would be usually loitering at the same spot in Flushing for the most part and often sitting still and more calmer than usual. She is not as aggressive as she used to be. And all I can think about is the possibility of her husband to have passed away. She has this look on her face that nothing  matters anymore because of the toned down approach from before.

Being aware of this for about a month now, I am starting to feel for her. Life took a change, from having someone at your side for all those many years and now it is just having to face the day alone. These people are often lonely because of their social handicap, and for this woman in particular, manifested that loneliness in a much obvious manner.

I imagine myself being her. I could not help but to think about the partnership and union, as well as some extend of dependents on one another that now ceased. That loneliness feels crushing to me. Where all of society thinks that these are the crazies of the streets, but it is still a genuine loneliness nonetheless.

Now every time I walk pass her sitting by the street alone, my heart sinks a little for her as I am currently processing some sort of loss that I am experiencing myself and can't help but to her.