Goodbye

Yesterday I had one of the saddest meeting I have had for a long time. I have officially renounced my involvement with my church. It is sad simply because of the investment that I have poured into for the past 2 years and sacrificing so much of my time and financial resource for it and this is the unfavorable end of it.

Nobody wants a bitter ending, but we all want what we think is best in our own conviction and opinion. My conviction tells me of my stand and why I made the decision that I have. I will trust God in all that has come to me, even in my poor decisions, I want to trust Him in His sovereign providence.

The bible calls to live a life beyond reproach, and even in my fair share of mistakes, I want to honor Him in how I handled the situations. But that does not mean that I am ignored with bitterness out of it.

This experience has challenged me to rethink the whole idea of community to which what many church strive for. Yet, the exclusivity of human errors and agendas still always finds its way around the situation. Although it can be argued otherwise, what is presented before me is the stripping away of my core community. There is somehow a disconnected being severed, and people that I have come to grow to love has a unintentional wall build between me and them.

I like to come right of to say that all experience is purposed for His glory, and I do believe that very much... but right this very moment, it feels the total opposite.