My Only Comfort

For some reason my heart is pulsing hard through my veins and the sheer anxious chill shakes through down to my very bone.

I am unclear of the mature of this feeling, whether it is coming out of a negative or positive motivation. Yet it continually persist and I am not even sure if I should stop this and calm myself down or let it takes its course and see where it leads me.

All I can spot is the very thing that got me started with it and it is when I was dwelling deep about the Gospel.

The gospel has gotten a hold of me in such that it is the only thing in this world that is certain and unchanging. I am watching a world passing me by in ways that I do not fully comprehend and I am again in a place where I am not sure if I should climb on board this mysterious ride or wait it out till the smoke clears.

My days become more and more abstract, as I try to hold on to specific events and situations. But it always falls back to the blurring of lines that separate the emotions and the logic. I dare not make conclusions to many things, but deep inside I crave certainties that I wish to hold on to. I fear being the waves that tosses through the directions of foreign winds, anchor is far from how I perceive my circumstances.

But to everything, I pull myself back to the figurative picture of the Gospel in my head and begin to view life only through that lens. That is my only comfort now.