Anxiety Attack

I give my mind too much credit at times...

Many have said that some of the worst enemy that anyone could face is themselves and this has come to the point to be very true for me. It has to take a moment to learn things the hard way for me to be able to come to certain realization. So even I could boast of my mind, God has a counter effect to humble me down to my core.

There was an episode or a feature movie of Justice League that had all the members abducted and had their powers removed and transferred into androids, all except Batman because he was the only one without superpowers. It was Batman's struggle to battle them alone. What was intriguing was the The JL never founded themselves to have precautionary protection against themselves, just in case they went rogue.

For an elaborate way of saying this... my mind went rogue on me for the past 2 days and I did not know how to counter it. Needless to say, I was struggling as I battled with some mental problems; which gave way to my emotional ones. I was defenseless, and therefore turned to people that I am not closed to for help and to hang by.

This is by no means depression, but it does inflict responses of one that has deep depression. There were several moments when I felt that sudden urge to end my life simply because I could not see hope left for me. Everything began caving in slowly, even things that had no connection to the immediate problem, somehow found its way into destruction.

I need to come up with counter measures to prevent this from happening again, but my guess would be that the only remedy can only be made by surprise and not by my own measure or else I would would predict the remedy and render it useless.

In the end, Jesus came through again. The utter surrender to Him was my only sense of peace to be found in my battle. Which makes me realized that I might need to reevaluate my closeness to God.